


Sights

by Cchambers



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Angst?, M/M, One Shot, Short One Shot, This Is STUPID, coliver - Freeform, i don't sleep, i wrote this at 3am, post 3x15
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-07 01:22:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11048358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cchambers/pseuds/Cchambers
Summary: Oliver can't stop crying, Connor needs a lot of sleep, and Oliver asked Connor to marry him. Post season three finale. Or, Connor can only express feelings when he's alone- or thinks he is.





	Sights

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!

He couldn't stop crying.

He was breaking down.

Oliver muffled his cries with the edge of the pillow, the fabric wet with his tears, pressing against his cheek. The tears ran down his face, his neck. It was as if he hadn't cried in years and was stuffed with tears until he exploded.

Did he know why he was crying?

No. Not a goddamn chance.

Everyone else seemed to have a breakdown, maybe the wheel turned and spun, landing on his name. Connor broke down in front of everyone, Laurel screamed at the funeral-

And Oliver was quiet. Calm, almost.

Too calm.

The past hours, days, smacked him across the face, imprinting a bright red handprint on his cheek- it was all he thought about, blocking out everything else.

_You could've lost him._

It choked Oliver, holding him by the collar. It whispered behind him, breathed down his neck. It patted his shoulder.

_You could've lost him._

He couldn't stop crying.

Connor was holding him, his arms wrapped around Oliver's waist, his grip tight, as if he were using all of his energy. Oliver was all he had.

His breathing was light and idle, content. Connor's chest was against Oliver's back, his chin resting on his shoulder. He was trapped in a deep, peaceful sleep.

 _Please_ , Oliver thought as he silenced another sob. _Please, don't wake Connor. He never sleeps- he needs it. He needs to sleep._

The thought was back.

_You could've lost him._

_Oh, oh god, was that why he'd done it?_

All of his life, Oliver never lived in the moment. He sat on the sidelines, admired from afar. He viewed the world through a microscope, through a window. He saw everything clearly, but he never did it in person. He never stepped onto dangerous ground.

And, in that moment, when it was just him and Connor and the world had tried to separate them, it was like driving a car. Oliver was driving a speeding car down the open road, the wind in his hair, the fresh air in his lungs. He felt as if he was flying, and the ground was thousands of feet blow, and he'd never touch it again.

And then the car crashed, head first into a brick wall. The engine roared and sputtered before bursting into furious flames, and Oliver was thrown through the windshield.

“Marry me.” He’d said.

And now he was crying.

He couldn't stop fucking crying.

"Ollie," Connor. His voice was small, his words were slurred. The grip on Oliver tightened; Connor was losing control, trying to get it back. He was so tired.

They were both so very tired.

"Ollie, are you awake?"

A silence hung over the room, hiding in the corner. Everything was dark, the curtains shut. Their clothes were thrown into a pile on the floor, ironically beside the hamper.

Oliver pretended to be asleep.

"Ollie," Connor said again, poking a finger into Oliver's stomach.

Oh, Oliver thought, he's so out of it he doesn't hear me crying. He doesn't hear the sobs.

"Oliver." A sprinkle of hope sneaked into the name Connor breathed; he wanted Oliver awake.

But he couldn't stop crying.

Silence.

Oliver thought he must've fallen back asleep, but then, Connor said something.

"I love you, Ollie." A soft, tender kiss on Oliver's forehead.

"And I, I'm lost. I'm completely lost, Oliver. I don't know how to express this, how to talk to you. How to explain how much I love your smile and the way you look at me, and just- just you."

Even more tears.

"Because I really do love you, Ollie. God, I love you so fucking much. I don't think I've loved anything more than you. You're- you are a first, Oliver."

A first.

Oliver changed him.

It warmed his heart, stopped the tears, even if just for a moment. They were moving somewhere.

But Connor thought Oliver was asleep.

Connor thought Oliver wasn't hearing any of this.

"But you... You just make everything complicated, Ollie, even if you don't mean to. You magnify every feeling, every thought. You're an amplifier."

Connor, Oliver wanted to scream, Connor, please.

He couldn't stop crying.

"And I- I'm lost."

Connor's grip loosened, and the bed shifted as he sank further into it, releasing a shaky breath.

"Goodnight, Oliver. Ollie."

Connor let go.

Oliver was still crying.

**Author's Note:**

> So um, yeah. I wrote this at 3am because I saw a falsettos bootleg screencap and was struck with inspiration for the first time in weeks. Thanks for reading! (ao3 is garbage and wouldn't let me edit. So, this should be interesting.)


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